#Momcation – Chapter 1

Why Vietnam? Because I want to, that’s why…..
Travelling from Bloem to JHB (Seriously, I am still in the country)

Well, saying goodbye to my husband and my little boy was probably the worst thing about a vacation that hasn’t even started. I couldn’t help but feel that I am abandoning them and leaving. Why is it so difficult for a mother to do something for herself without the umbrella of guilt blocking out her sunshine?
I sit in the boarding area of the Bloemfontein airport, obviously ridiculously early as there is no one here. I stare out the window as I sip my iced mocha. Then suddenly, a feeling I haven’t felt in a long time, a sense of calm. I become excited to think that for the first time in my life I will spend 10 days with myself.
Holy shit I have never spent 10 days with myself in my whole life…How insane is that…Take a moment to let that thought set in. When was the last time you were alone?! (Going away on a work-trip doesn’t count, sorry!) This momcation isn’t out of selfishness; it is out of necessity to meet myself again. To see what I like and what I don’t like. To remind myself who I am.
I am looking forward to a night of sleep without having to wake up and check on someone else. Selfish of me? No way.
I have a husband who is so understanding and loving, and this shows me that he appreciates everything that I do in our home. It shows me that we are connected on another level. It shows me that he wants me to be a happy person and a happy mommy. I love him dearly for the freedom he gives me to do what makes me happy.
I am looking forward to some silence and peace in myself without being anxious about where my son is, or if he is hungry or or…
One thing moms must understand is that when you decide to do something like this, there will be people that will raise their eyebrows so high you wouldn’t know how to react. It’s like breaking some unforbidden rule “Mothers may never be alone” It’s doesn’t matter. Some people thought my husband and I were getting divorced. Hahahaha Insane.
The funny thing was the look of pure shock on people’s faces when I told them that I will be travelling alone. ALONE? Who will be taking care of Luca? Like I would just leave him with a few bottles of milk in front of the television hoping he will make it till I get back….People can be so stupid. Seriously
Ummm…The man whom I call his father will be taking on the parenting thing for 10 days on his own, which I believe he is more than capable of doing because he is a fantastic father and his son loves him. Also, two grandmothers are dying to spend time with him, so I am pretty sure it will be a blast.
After giving my husband the first breakdown of all the gross things that I have to do, like sucking snotties out of Luca’s nose if it’s stuffy or runny, he looked at me all grossed out… Giving him a breakdown of the medicine cabinet and what needs to be given when something is wrong, the look of bewilderment overcame him…Welcome to what mothers do my friend…I have spoken to plenty of mothers, and we all have the same thing in common. Daddies are the “fun” parent because they don’t actually do the things that require you to pin your child down like you are arresting someone to get a few nose drops in! Fathers do the fun stuff…Well, welcome to my world daddy… Keep all limbs inside the vehicle at all times because it’s going to be a terrifying ride!

We are so desensitised to the whole gross thing that we don’t even care anymore. If my son vomits on me, I carry on in conversation without batting an eyelid. Wet wipes are like hand cream to me!!! Boogers are the least of our problems.
Why do I think a momcation is essential? Let me tell you…
You need to miss your child.

This sounds horrible, how dare I say that you have to go away from your child to miss him. If you are not a mother you wouldn’t understand and if you are a mother and you don’t understand then you probably have a few nannies at your disposal, or you don’t spend the entire day with your child.
I need to miss my baby; I need to miss him to appreciate him even more. Not all days are fun, and most days I suffer guilt and feel like a shitty mother. I need to miss him to realise that he actually does love me and that he needs me. I need to miss being a mom.

You need to miss your husband.

I am not going to lie. The first year after Luca was born has put my marriage through some serious challenges. My husband was exposed to the craziest shit and on top of that watched me slowly becoming insane and suffering from postpartum depression. If you are a mom who’s been all happy and whatever, please don’t read this. We are not at the same level at all. You go live your perfect life, and I will just be here living the real life.
My husband and I fought like cat and dog. Sleep deprivation, learning together how to keep this little human being alive was probably the most terrifying, humbling, challenging, tiring and rewarding thing we have ever done as a couple. We made it! We still love each other – More actually…Some days we live passed each other, other days we are in love like the first time we met. I still need to miss him to appreciate him more. We lose sight of each other. He is also a person, and he deserves the best of me!
You need to meet yourself
Through all the chaos of taking care of everyone in the house, you will surely lose yourself. Being so tired that you don’t even take the toys out of the bath to wash, so you just lay there between all the toys drifting passed you. Being too tired even to care if the house is tidy, ok wait, my OCD doesn’t allow that, I am a neat freak. You get my point.
You lose yourself, you lose the YOU before you became a mother and that person is important too. You need to reconnect with who you are. That is part of being a fantastic woman and mother! You need to get out of the “mother machine” mode and relax, sit back and take in a moment. You need to pee alone at least once… You need to eat a plate of food without having two little hands wondering what you are eating and grabbing it from you. You need to drink a hot cup of coffee.

You need to give your mombrain a rest!

You need to sleep in, read a book and go for a walk. You need you!
So here is to the start of 10 days of meeting me!
The first challenge to overcome: Guilt! #loadingtheguiltfreeversion”
I will probably come back a better person and mother!
Will keep you posted!