So here I am sitting with the insomnia symptom of pregnancy late at night while my husband is blissfully snoring away, wondering if there is a chance that there might be a chocolate that I missed somehow in the pantry….
I decided not to share the news of my pregnancy on social media in the beginning for various reasons. I felt it was such a personal thing for me and that social media robs you of the special personal moments by displaying everything in public. There are mommies who share everything on social media and that is fine, I am just not one of them.
One thing that I did during my pregnancy was to limit the amount of advice that I took from people. People (including the non-pregnant me) can become a library of advice that can confuse a first-time mommy. I was told the strangest things from the beginning. I actually became quite anxious because I felt that I would have a horrible pregnancy after I heard all the stories from other mommies and people. I anxiously waited for the sheer terror and horror of being pregnant to hit me. It turns out half of what I was told was total BS in my case and my pregnancy has been one of the best times in my life.
I was one of the lucky mommies I guess. I never had morning sickness. I picked up 15kg’s during my pregnancy and not 30kg’s like I was told I would. I didn’t feel like death every day. I did feel like I might have developed narcolepsy as I was constantly dead tired, so I slept ALL the time for the first trimester. My feet and body didn’t swell. I am 35 weeks pregnant and I still wear high heels. I eat my steak rare (like always) and my baby is healthy. I enjoy my sweets from time to time. I binge on fruit and my baby isn’t diabetic. I try to exercise, which is a challenge, due to lack of breath. I drink coffee once a day. I sleep on my back and my baby hasn’t managed to strangle himself. I take hot baths that are supposedly bad for my baby. My baby boy loves a hot bath. I can tell by the way he instantly kicks and becomes active. I don’t play classical music for brain development. I play music that I like for him.
I do all the things that people warned me about without worrying that my baby might die a horrible death if I have meat that is not scorched. I decided to follow my instincts and to trust myself during this pregnancy. I was told a very wise thing by my gynaecologist. Every mom that gives you advice only has the experience of the number of children she has. She doesn’t know everything and that I found to be very true during my pregnancy. We as humans tend to want to help and give our experience a voice when it comes to someone that is, like in my case, going through pregnancy.
Let me tell you the conversations ranged from where my child will be attending school, when will I send him to pre-school? Am I going to breast feed and am I totally crazy for wanting to give birth naturally? It’s a whirlwind of conversations and information that can leave you very overwhelmed if you don’t take caution. The best thing that any women can do who has gone through pregnancy is to keep quiet until you are asked for information or to share your story. You might have had a tough pregnancy but that doesn’t mean that the next woman will.
I was always one of the people that couldn’t understand why pregnant people became less social. Now I am eating my words. Baby- less friends tend to state that once you are pregnant and have a baby that you go missing from the social circle that you don’t spend so much time with them anymore. It is the opposite. I honestly feel that baby-less friends should be considerate like some of my girlfriends were when it comes to their pregnant friends. I don’t want to party with you (dead sober) till one in the morning like I used to. I want to chill because I am busy building another human being. Baby- less friends tend to find the process of pregnancy boring especially when they are party animals. So it’s not the pregnant mommy that becomes less social necessarily it’s the party friends that tend to move away from the pregnant mommy for various reasons. There are some people in my life that I find completely boring without me having had few drinks. There are people that I now realize were never really true friends. They were drinking and partying friends. It’s a sad fact. But that is life. When you are pregnant the real friends step up and the rest dwindle making empty promises for coffee dates that never happen or they just disappear off the face of the earth.
People told me that my marriage will take a knock because of the baby and the pregnancy. Bullshit, my husband and I are closer than ever. We are a team. If you allow these things to get between you and your husband it’s your own fault. Don’t let people put all sorts of nonsense in your mind. Only you and your husband can decide what affects you negatively.
Some people will actually tell you stories of mommies who carried their babies full term only to have them pass away at birth…Seriously people…that is not an appropriate story to tell an expectant mommy…How socially impaired can you be?
Being pregnant is an amazing experience if people don’t try to ruin it by getting you all worked up. I decided to share a simple photo of myself on social media during week 34. I didn’t say anything I just posted the photo and the response was great however within minutes I received various messages from various people asking me ten thousand questions on what my future plans are for my baby – Breastfeeding, schools, clubs that I need to join, babies can drown so I need to take him for swimming lessons. He needs to go to clamber club or other activities as soon as possible to stimulate him. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. I actually told a few people to leave me alone as I am mentally stable and can make decisions for my child without their input
I will write about the lighter side and the glowing side of pregnancy again soon. This article is for first-time mommies. Don’t let other moms make you nervous because their experience will not be the same as yours. Take your pregnancy day by day and try to enjoy every moment. You will learn so much about yourself and your body. You don’t need to compete with anybody or prove anything to other mommies who have gone through pregnancy. There are good days and bad days and that is normal. Choose who you listen to because trust me you don’t want to listen to everybody. Nobody actually knows what they are doing so follow your gut and your heart. You also don’t need to share every detail of your pregnancy with the world. Keep some of these precious moments for you and your husband.
Till next time…